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MARRIAGE: CHERISHING COMMITTED LOVE By Ps Lai Ling Lim

Many have asked “How do you make a marriage work for the long haul?” Some others have commented, “This spouse that I am married to is incredibly different from what I had expected and it is getting tougher and tougher each day.” How do we go about having a sustainable marriage in God? I believe we definitely need God and a healthy and increasing dose of committed love in one’s marriage, friends! 

The season of cherishing committed love is always worth the work and the perseverance. Commitment does not sound romantic on the surface, but it is absolutely essential for marriage. Genuine romance is impossible without a solid commitment in marriage. Remember friends, there is no perfect marriage on earth as we are imperfect people, but with God’s help, we rely upon Him and cooperate with Him towards a good and loving marriage.

Commitment begins at the wedding with our vows and pledges to each other and to God. Nonetheless, there’ll be occasions when we are faced with disappointments. It is in those times that we have to decide again to live by those vows made at the wedding. Choosing to be committed towards one’s marriage is not a once off decision, but rather a daily resolution to stand by our vows made before God on that wonderful day called “Wedding”.

It is normal to experience some disappointments in your spouse and in the state of your marriage. Difficulties will come, responsibilities will grow, children may occasionally be challenging and temptations of escape may float by from time to time.

What is it that will help married couples have hope in the midst of all these myriad of issues? One way to make the marriage and romance last: A renewable commitment to one another (between spouses) that has no escape clauses and hopes only in God and not in each other. Let’s allow God’s love to permeate our hearts continually and in doing so, renew our love for each other in Christ.

Friends, commitment creates a wall of protection around your marriage. It creates a safe place for a husband and a wife to be real with each other without the fear of rejection. It protects your marriage from outside intruders, and it also creates that security that allows you to discover love and romance in fresh ways and with deeper levels of intimacy and joy.

As each couple remains committed in the marriage, it gives the marriage a renewable resource in that marriage. It is not the “I’m kind of stuck” in this marriage kind of thing. Even trees take years to grow to maturity, and as they mature, they provide shade, rest and nourishment for people and animals. With good depth of soil and water, the tree’s roots grow deeper and anchor it through inevitable storms.

Commitment in marriage is like the growing root system of an oak tree. It takes time for the marriage roots to grow deep and strong. Unfortunately, too many couples uproot their love in the early stages of the marriage relationship. They lose out on the privilege of experiencing the beauty of a mature forest of long term marital love.

Friends, may I encourage you to build you marriage upon the Chief cornerstone, Jesus Christ and truly cultivate the attitude and act of cherishing committed love towards one another as spouses.

The Bible reminds us in

Ephesians 5:22 – 25 (NIV) 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Praying for and with you,

Pastor Lai Ling Lim
Hope Church, Brisbane

This article was published on INSIDE HOPE Newsletter on 27th October, 2010